Monday, September 19, 2016

Author Bio (The Director's Cut)

In order to get people interested in reading your books, you’re supposed to write a brief summary of your literary accomplishments and anything else that creates the illusion you have something profound to say. If possible, it should include words such as “best-sellers,” “famous,” and “blockbuster.”

I have read some best-sellers. I have a cousin who has met several famous people. And a long time ago, I used to rent movies from Blockbuster.

Since that is the extent of that approach, here’s what I have for my official author bio, along with additional commentary.

Bret Carter lives with his wife and daughter in Denver, Colorado.

[My wife’s name is Sarah and my daughter’s name is Ippi. We technically live in Westminster, but Denver is more well-known and might give me some sports-cred.]

His short stories have appeared in Perihelion Magazine, Boston Literary Magazine, and the anthologies CrossTIME Science Fiction, Gruff Variations, and Mysterion.

[My short stories have also appeared in my elementary school newspaper and a couple of college literary magazines with snobby titles like The Edge and Riverrun.]

[The only two stories that actually made me money are the ones published in Perihelion and Mysterion, a recent anthology. Perihelion was the first publication to actually buy one of my stories. I was pretty thrilled to get paid. It was a check for six figures (as long as you count the decimal in the middle and the dollar sign as two of the figures.]

His non-fiction includes Life Among the Married People, a book about being single, God’s Words, which deals with the integrity of the Bible, and Paper Bullets, a book of essays on writing.

[Life Among the Married People took me about five years to write and should be out in the next month or so on Amazon. I’ll have more to say about this book later.]

[God’s Words was published a few years ago by Gospel Advocate]

[Paper Bullets will also be out in a month or so on Amazon. I’ll ramble about this one later as well.]

Bret has written and produced over 30 plays, including 3 musicals, most of them with his father Ron Carter. Over a dozen of the plays were produced at the Broomfield Theater in Denver.

[I teach at Hyland Christian School. Shortly after I started working there, the administration graciously allowed Dad and I to start writing the plays for the high school. We did this together for about twenty years, until Dad passed away. It was a collaboration that meant a great deal to us. These are full-length plays that have been taken to impressive levels by the students. More details about past plays might show up on this blog. Details about upcoming plays definitely will.]

[The dozen or so plays at the Broomfield Theater happened only because of Anna Wilcox and her drama production company Back Story. She and her husband Brent worked hard to make it a community presence that is still going strong today. Details about these plays will also be forthcoming on this blog.]

He has been a teacher for over twenty years. He currently teaches at Hyland Christian School and preaches part-time at the Miller Street church of Christ.

[Most people hate their jobs. I have been blessed with two jobs that I love.]


[I was born on October 28. My dad’s best friend Bruce Graydon was born on October 29. When my arrival was imminent, Dad told Bruce that if I was born on his birthday, that I would be named after him.]

For now, this is the extent of my author bio. I’ve written a bunch of novels, but none of them have been published. This is partly because I have only written rough drafts, but mostly because they aren’t any good. I am currently starting a new one that I might blog about along the way, depending on the yawn factor for those who might be reading this blog.

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